


Being Lilly

by Sophia_Bee



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, M/M, Mild Language, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 13:14:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2389574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophia_Bee/pseuds/Sophia_Bee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Veronica has always wanted to be Lilly</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Lilly

Lilly is the teenage pinup queen, pouting in pigtails and short shorts as her tongue flicks out to taste the sweet cherry lollipop she holds in sticky fingers. She bats her eyelashes and thrusts her chest out as she swipes rags across the hood of a BMW, and looks over her shoulder knowing she’s every Neptune executive’s wet dream.

_I’ve got a secret._

Lilly is sex and candy and she bends over to pick up a wet sponge, making sure everyone sees her perfect ass, her long legs. She hands the sponge to Veronica and pulls a tube of strawberry lip-gloss from her pocket, smearing it on her lips. Her lips smack together in a way that makes the men watching her think of blowjobs in the front seat of their car and they make a mental note to find out if Lilly Kane baby-sits.

Lilly is far from a virgin. Maybe the anti-virgin, she says, bouncing down on the bed next to Veronica. Maybe just a slut, Veronica shoots back and Lilly tips her head back and laughs. Maybe a slut, she agrees, but never a whore. She’ll never fuck for money, she declares as she rolls onto her back, but she might marry for it. Veronica wonders what the difference is.

Lilly is sexual liberation in the form of a sixteen year-old.

Veronica knows she fucks Logan. She hears them sometimes when she stays the night at the Kane house. Veronica just pulls the pillow over her head and eventually Lilly crawls back into bed with her and wraps her arms around Veronica and kisses her on the mouth and tells her she’s the only one she really loves. Veronica believes her.

Veronica wants to be Lilly. Because Lilly is free and Veronica is still trapped by her virginity and the rules of first love. The only thing Duncan will ever do is slip his hand under her tank top and Veronica doesn’t know how to ask for more. Lilly would never tolerate just being felt up. She would demand to be fucked or fingered or something.

Veronica pulls the skirt out of the closet. It’s naughty-school-girl-plaid and fuck-me short. She pushes her black pants down her hips then pulls on the skirt and looks in the mirror and she thinks she hears Lilly laugh.

_You’re the only one I love._

The sounds of people talking in quiet murmurs drift down the hallway, whispering so they don’t disturb Celeste who has been in bed for three days straight now and even the little white pills in the bottle the doctor left her don’t touch the blackness she’s fallen into. There is picture of Lilly, several years old, smiling but Veronica notices the smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Flowers fill the room, stargazers with their sweet, cloying scent, calla lilies standing tall in an expensive crystal vase, wrapped in a black ribbon. Each with a small white card, a phrase of condolence, and it’s amazing how many times someone can say how sorry they are for your loss.

Veronica looks in the mirror and she’s not sure who is looking back. Her skin is sallow, there are dark circles under eyes the peer out from her newly shorn hair. She picks up the strawberry lip-gloss sitting on the dresser and smears it across her cheek, remembering how Lilly tasted. She unbuttons her shirt until her bra peeks out and ties up the hem to expose the flat expanse of her stomach. She purses her lips and turns her head back over her shoulder, batting her eyelashes. She swivels her hips like the girls at the Seventh Veil and runs her hand up her thighs, feeling the ragged edges of her bitten nails rake across her skin. She knows Lilly would be proud.

Veronica splashes cold water on her face in the hallway bathroom and carefully scrubs off the lip-gloss. Her pants are back on, her shirt is buttoned properly. The fuck-me skirt is tucked carefully in her bag, a piece of Lilly all for herself.

She’s tasted Logan Echolls before. She realizes this the first time he kisses her, his hand at the small of her back as he bends over her, his tongue slipping between her teeth and his mouth doesn’t carry the pleasantness of first discovery but the shock of memory. It’s much later that Veronica realizes that all that was missing was the taste of strawberry lip-gloss. She can’t sleep that night. The air is hot and stale as she lies on top of her comforter, staring at her ceiling, wondering if Lilly is watching her, laughing.

Finally she sits up and stares at the clock. It reads 3:37. Veronica knows what she needs to do. She goes to her closet, pushing the clothes apart, the hangers hissing along the cheap metal bar. She reaches into the back corner and finds it still in the heap she left it in almost a year and a half ago. Her fingers recognize the rough fabric and she remembers the feel of it against her skin. She doesn’t bother with underwear, just pulls the skirt over her hips, reaches to her side and pulls up the zipper. She finds a shirt, plain white, buttons up the front, and pulls it on, only buttoning just enough buttons to cover her breasts. She goes to her desk and pulls the second drawer open, fishes around the bottom until her fingers find cold glass and she pulls out strawberry lip-gloss.

She always wanted to be Lilly.

He sleeps with the window open. She knows because Lilly loved to share her exploits, to describe in detail sneaking into Logan’s room, telling Veronica how he fucked her just to watch the sweet strawberry flush climb Veronica’s innocent cheeks. Lilly would stroke her skin with her fingertips and tell her how sexy she was when she was turned on. Veronica would answer by blushing hotter.

“Veronica.”

He doesn’t sound entirely surprised to find her straddling his hips in his pitch-black bedroom. She bends down and kisses him hard, tongue halfway down his throat, and after a moment he starts to kiss her back, grabbing a handful of her hair and pulling and Veronica hisses ‘yes’ into his mouth.

She’s still wearing the skirt when he fucks her on her hands and knees, hands gripping her hips so hard she knows there will be bruises in the morning. Her head lolls and her arms shake as she fights to hold herself up. He’s thrusting hard, hips slapping against her ass and he finally comes with her name on his lips and his weight is fully on her back and it takes all her strength to push him off.

“Good?” she asks as her tongue traces along the shell of his ear.

“Unghhh.” He answers, lying on his back, mouth open, eyes closed.

“Now.” Veronica whispers. “Get me off.”

Because she’s wet and aching and that’s what Lilly would have said.

He laughs and rolls onto his side. Then his hand is under the skirt and his finger is pressing and circling and Veronica’s breath hitches and for the first time she’s not sure if she can handle finishing what Lilly started.

“Did she ever fuck you?” Logan whispers in her ear and Veronica wishes Lilly had touched her like this. She closes her eyes and pretends it’s Lilly’s hand. She hisses Lilly’s name as his fingers slip inside her and Veronica pushes her hips down and bites her lower lip.

“Did she ever make you come?”

She starts to burn and she can’t find a way to tell Logan that no one has ever touched her quite like this. Her breath hitches, everything shatters into a million pieces as Veronica pushes her hips off the bed and her head falls back. Then she is jerking and writhing against his hand and the only thing she can mange is ‘jesus fucking christ’ just before his mouth covers hers.

The naughty-schoolgirl-fuck-me skirt is pushed up around her waist and her shirt has been thrown somewhere on the floor. Her lips are swollen and she is boneless, sinking into the mattress. When she can breathe again, she opens her eyes and he’s leaning over her. He’s smiling. She smiles back. He’s tracing her face, memorizing it with his fingertips. Veronica knows it’s finally time to say goodbye. She doesn’t want to be Lilly anymore.

She wants Veronica back. 


End file.
